5. Support from extended family and a trip to India

In Autumn 2009 I decided to enrol in a doctoral program out of the Cranfield University in the UK which required my physical presence initially, 4 times a year. I managed to coincide my trips with visiting mum but with winter looming in London, I thought it would be a good idea for her to visit me and spend some time in Dubai and then travel to India to visit her family/in-laws. Most of the days in Dubai she would spend alone in my flat but there was no alternative as I had to work. My daily commute was over 3 hours, so I had an early start at 5.00am and didn’t return home until 6pm.

Mum was keen to learn how to use the computer. I had taught her how to send emails, but she wanted to learn more, so I arranged for a cab to pick her up every day at a preset time and take her to a local college where she had one-to-one lessons on basic computing. I’m not sure what she learnt but she seemed happy to be doing something rather than sitting and watching TV.

After a few weeks in Dubai, we travelled to India where she remained in the care of my cousins for a month. Although she may have been able to travel alone, given the transit requirements in India to get to Assam from Delhi or Kolkata, I felt it better that I accompany her both on the outward and inbound journeys. After a month in India, I collected her from Assam, and we jointly returned to London.

Surrounded by the love of her family seemed to have helped her, albeit temporarily.

I noticed that whilst she was with both her family and in-laws, she appeared to be fine. Both families had help with household chores at home so there was no need for mum to be bothered with the normal daily chores of meal preparation, house cleaning and laundry. The only task she needed to do was get up in the morning and take a shower. At this point in time, she was still capable of showering and attending to all her personal care needs. She would keep the bathroom door unlocked in the event she had a fall and ask someone in the family to be close by in the bedroom.

In terms of taking medication mum was adamant that she would not use a pill box with designated pills for specific times and dates. She felt that she was more than capable of taking her own medication. However, she had the habit of reading through all the medication side effects and then asking why she was being prescribed certain medicines if they had detrimental effects on some of her pre-existing conditions. It would be fair to say that she remained quite independent at this stage.

INDIA

5. Support from extended family and a trip to India